We were tied together into a big knot, never expecting to be unraveled.
As time went on we got closer and closer together, We thought we would never part.
The time is drawing near, the time to be undone.
A time to be parted, a time of new, more, fun.
We were sewn together, and that can never be undone
Just remember that what we are, a big messed up ball of thread.
So close together, what can never be undone
Our thoughts, our feelings, our dreams
all mushed into one.
But the time has come to unwind
all those bonds, memories, dreams
Will still be there in our minds.
Well make new friends, make new bonds,
all the while keeping the old memories and promises
close to our hearts.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Dialated
Left out in the dark.Thats how my life began. My mother didn't want me, so she left me in a basket in the local park. I was found under the weeping willow tree, or thats what my Moma told me. She and my Papi found me there. Under that tree, crying, hysterical. Moma looked at Papi, and he nodded in understanding. Moma and Papi had always wanted a child, but they hadnt been blessed with one until they found me crying under the willow. They named me 'Willow' after the womping willow.
As i got older i came to understand that I wasn't moma and papis real daughter, but i let them believe that i thought i was. Moma and Papi loved me, unlike my birth mother. Or thats what i thought.
When i was around 15 years old my mother came looking for me. She thought that i would welcome her with open arms into my life. Well she was wrong. I don't know exactly how she did it, but one day on my way home from school she cornered me. 'Jamie, oh my Jamie' she sobbed. I had no idea what or who she was talking about. So, naturally i avoided her. She grabbed me as i tried to sidestep her though, so i was forced to confront her. 'Look lady. I have no idea who you are, or who this 'Jamie' person is. Would you please let me go? My Moma will be worried if im not home soon.' She let go of me and i walked home.
To my surprise, at dinner that night, the lady was there. Apparently she was Moma's baby sister. Apparently she was my mother.
I didn't find out that she was my mother until later that night, which was probably better. Moma announced that the woman would be living with us for a while, and that she would be staying in my room. No ifs, ands, or buts. So that night, as i was trying to fall asleep, the woman started apologizing to me. I had no idea what was going on. I assumed that she was just sleep talking so i didn't answer her pleas for forgiveness. But when she said my name i knew that she was talking to me. 'Willow, baby, im so sorry. I shouldnt have left you, but i couldnt take care of you. Your father didnt know that i was pregnant........' some husband he was not knowing that his wife was pregnant. She just kept babbling, going on and on about how sorry she was, and i had no idea what she was talking about. But then it hit me. SHE was the mother that hadnt wanted me. SHE was the one who left me under that tree. SHE brought me to Moma and Papi, but she was Momas sister. Why didnt she just leave me with Moma, until she could get me? Why did she leave me under that tree.
So many questions, But no answers.
As i got older i came to understand that I wasn't moma and papis real daughter, but i let them believe that i thought i was. Moma and Papi loved me, unlike my birth mother. Or thats what i thought.
When i was around 15 years old my mother came looking for me. She thought that i would welcome her with open arms into my life. Well she was wrong. I don't know exactly how she did it, but one day on my way home from school she cornered me. 'Jamie, oh my Jamie' she sobbed. I had no idea what or who she was talking about. So, naturally i avoided her. She grabbed me as i tried to sidestep her though, so i was forced to confront her. 'Look lady. I have no idea who you are, or who this 'Jamie' person is. Would you please let me go? My Moma will be worried if im not home soon.' She let go of me and i walked home.
To my surprise, at dinner that night, the lady was there. Apparently she was Moma's baby sister. Apparently she was my mother.
I didn't find out that she was my mother until later that night, which was probably better. Moma announced that the woman would be living with us for a while, and that she would be staying in my room. No ifs, ands, or buts. So that night, as i was trying to fall asleep, the woman started apologizing to me. I had no idea what was going on. I assumed that she was just sleep talking so i didn't answer her pleas for forgiveness. But when she said my name i knew that she was talking to me. 'Willow, baby, im so sorry. I shouldnt have left you, but i couldnt take care of you. Your father didnt know that i was pregnant........' some husband he was not knowing that his wife was pregnant. She just kept babbling, going on and on about how sorry she was, and i had no idea what she was talking about. But then it hit me. SHE was the mother that hadnt wanted me. SHE was the one who left me under that tree. SHE brought me to Moma and Papi, but she was Momas sister. Why didnt she just leave me with Moma, until she could get me? Why did she leave me under that tree.
So many questions, But no answers.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Im crying for you
Pit Pat. Pit Pat. The sound of my sneakers hitting the pavement.
Suddenly my arm was grabbed, and i was spun around.
A boy, around my age, looking concerned, had grabbed on to me.
He asked me what was wrong
i told him nothing was wrong, that everything was alright.
He could see through my lie.
He took me to a nearby park and sat me on a bench
'Tell me the truth' he demanded
I spat in his face and refused, not wanting to say what happened
He kept asking me, and i complied.
'My parents just told me that they were getting a divorce. They had been dating other people, so i should have seen it coming....'
My voice trailed off after that.
To my surprise he started to cry
When i asked him he said
'I'm crying for you.'
With those words i started to fall.
The next day i went to that same park and he was there
waiting for me,
Just like i had imagined.
He looked at me as i sat down
And he smiled
Everyday after that we met in the park
and talked
eventually i told him that i was in love
and he returned the feelings.
Thats bench is where he proposed to me.
And that bench is where he told me that he had terminal cancer.
I was pregnant with our first child
and He told me that he probably wouldn't last to see the child.
I got up and ran home, tears running down my cheeks.
He asked me why i was crying
'i'm crying for you, for our baby, im crying for ME!'
i sobbed.
He tried to comfort me, i moved away from his touch.
'How long have you known?'
I asked
'Since I met you.'
was the simple reply.
'how! how could you not have told me! howw!!!!!'
at that point i was hysterical.
'I didnt want you to worry about me'
That summer, on the day our baby girl was born, he died.
He got to see her though.
He died with a smile on his face.
His dying words were
'Im crying for you'
His first and last words to me.
Suddenly my arm was grabbed, and i was spun around.
A boy, around my age, looking concerned, had grabbed on to me.
He asked me what was wrong
i told him nothing was wrong, that everything was alright.
He could see through my lie.
He took me to a nearby park and sat me on a bench
'Tell me the truth' he demanded
I spat in his face and refused, not wanting to say what happened
He kept asking me, and i complied.
'My parents just told me that they were getting a divorce. They had been dating other people, so i should have seen it coming....'
My voice trailed off after that.
To my surprise he started to cry
When i asked him he said
'I'm crying for you.'
With those words i started to fall.
The next day i went to that same park and he was there
waiting for me,
Just like i had imagined.
He looked at me as i sat down
And he smiled
Everyday after that we met in the park
and talked
eventually i told him that i was in love
and he returned the feelings.
Thats bench is where he proposed to me.
And that bench is where he told me that he had terminal cancer.
I was pregnant with our first child
and He told me that he probably wouldn't last to see the child.
I got up and ran home, tears running down my cheeks.
He asked me why i was crying
'i'm crying for you, for our baby, im crying for ME!'
i sobbed.
He tried to comfort me, i moved away from his touch.
'How long have you known?'
I asked
'Since I met you.'
was the simple reply.
'how! how could you not have told me! howw!!!!!'
at that point i was hysterical.
'I didnt want you to worry about me'
That summer, on the day our baby girl was born, he died.
He got to see her though.
He died with a smile on his face.
His dying words were
'Im crying for you'
His first and last words to me.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
As The Sun Sets
As i look up at the sky i see the most beautiful thing that ive ever seen. Have I ever seen something like this? It makes me feel as if life is tiny, compared to the stars. Even If humanity is just one thing out of millions, i know that every single person matters. Every presence makes a difference. We are all needed for a different reason, but we are needed. Even if we think we arent, someone somewhere needs us. Whether we know it or not, we are needed. I know that i need a certain group of people, and if that group were to disappear my life would fall apart. And I know that they need me, even if its for the tiniest reason, I'm needed. I'm needed to keep the peace, to be there when they need help, to be a bitch and remind them that they are needed by someone, me. So dont even consider that you arent needed. dont even think that life would be easier if you were gone. Think about the people who need you, who maybe werent there just as you needed them, but know that they care. Think about how you matter.
Monday, April 14, 2008
As The Sun Rises- Story one
As The Sun Rises- Story Number One
A light Shines bright in my eyes. Slowly they open. I am surounded by many vibrant colors. Various Shades of Orange, blue, green, and pink spin around me. I look at my surroundings, taking in every beautiful inch. Every thing seems to be glowing. 'Is this Heaven?' I wonder, as i stand up and look at sky. Its beauty almost knocks me off my feet. I never know that one thing could be so..so gloriously beautiful. All the colors, so majestic, so foreign. How could i have never noticed this before? How could i have missed out on so much? This feeling is so...undescribeable. I want to stay here forever and bask in the warmth. I want to lie here forever, just gazeing at this wonder. I want to stay in this heaven.
But alas, all good things must end. The colors soon vanished, and the day returned to its bland colors of yellow and blue. The glow went away, the warmth subsided. But i was able to keep going because i knew that the next day, and the day after that, and for all eterinty, the sun would rise again.
A light Shines bright in my eyes. Slowly they open. I am surounded by many vibrant colors. Various Shades of Orange, blue, green, and pink spin around me. I look at my surroundings, taking in every beautiful inch. Every thing seems to be glowing. 'Is this Heaven?' I wonder, as i stand up and look at sky. Its beauty almost knocks me off my feet. I never know that one thing could be so..so gloriously beautiful. All the colors, so majestic, so foreign. How could i have never noticed this before? How could i have missed out on so much? This feeling is so...undescribeable. I want to stay here forever and bask in the warmth. I want to lie here forever, just gazeing at this wonder. I want to stay in this heaven.
But alas, all good things must end. The colors soon vanished, and the day returned to its bland colors of yellow and blue. The glow went away, the warmth subsided. But i was able to keep going because i knew that the next day, and the day after that, and for all eterinty, the sun would rise again.
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